On Sunday, over 100 million people are going to tune in to watch grown men toss around a dead cow’s leathered ass. That’s weird.
What’s even weirder is the fact that I’m not allowed to call the biggest event in sports by its actual name. Life is a farce.
That said, there’s nothing stopping me from recommending the 1991 film, The Super, starring Joe Pesci as a wisecracking slumlord who is forced to live in his own building. I also recommend the 2025 Scottish student film, Bowl, which explores LGBTQ+ identity and the culture of bowling clubs as social spaces… whatever that means.
The Super (Left), Bowl (Right)
At any rate, I hope you enjoy those films. Now back to football.
I’ve always loved the “Big Game.”
At the age of 10, I won a “Big Game” square pool, and there was no turning back.
Now, decades later, I’m getting paid to write about it. So as I recently told the guys at my court-mandated halfway house, the “Big Game” literally made me the man I am today.
But as I grow older, and time takes its toll, the pastimes and hobbies I once loved are beginning to lose their luster.
Sure, I’m still interested in the fact that Seattle has a 69% chance of beating New England. But the whole “final score” thing doesn’t hit like I used to.
I’m a grown man now, and I’m interested in more sophisticated outcomes, like whether or not an announcer will say “tush push.”
So if you’re looking for more conventional markets on the pro football championship, visit Kalshi’s 2026 “Big Game” hub for a comprehensive look at everything we have to offer.
But if you’d rather get weird with it, take a look at the markets below.
I am 100% BOYCOTTING this year’s halftime show for two simple reasons.
I don’t like Bad Bunny. Not because of his music or his politics, but because it makes me sad that a dude in a straw hat lands more women in a weekend than I will in my entire life.
I always boycott the halftime show, and will continue to do so until Weird Al is allowed to perform (even though he doesn’t want to).
That said, my boycott will consist of going to the bathroom and grabbing more beer, as opposed to pretending that Kid Rock isn’t awful.
But if you’re sticking around for the show, be sure to check out our market on what song Bad Bunny sings first. There’s currently a 70% chance it will be ‘Tití Me Preguntó,’ which isn’t nearly as dirty as it sounds if you actually translate it into English.
Click for current odds.
When I was a boy, if a grown man said "tush push” during a live broadcast, he’d probably get fired and lose his family. But this Sunday, if an announcer says “tush push” during the game, you could make money. Now that’s what I call progress!
As mentioned above, Kalshi’s “Big Game” announcer mention market allows you to trade on what NBC’s play-by-play and/or color commentators will say during the broadcast. Do you have a strong opinion about whether or not someone mentions “Gatorade” (58%), Cardi B. (54%), or President Trump (16%) at this year’s game? Then this market is for you.
I mentioned that I don’t like Bad Bunny. That said, I’m old, so I don’t like any music. That’s especially true of Green Day. After purchasing and listening to one of their albums in high school, I decided to swear off buying music altogether.
But lately, my brother-in-law seems to hate Green Day even more than I do. And if he hears the band say something about “MAGA” during the “Big Game” opening ceremony, he might throw a fit and smash his own TV, which means I can leave early and watch at home. So I’ll be rooting for Billie Joe on Sunday!
I’m not sure if you saw, but Bill Gates is having a really bad week.
It seems his name popped up more than a few times in the newest batch of the Epstein files. The bad news for Bill is that while he denies the more lurid accusations described in the documents, it’s still a public relations nightmare that he’s likely to carry with him for the rest of his life.
But on the plus side, having your name all over the Epstein files clearly won’t disqualify him from being president, if he ever decides to give that a go, which is a nice silver lining.
Do you think Bill will try to forget his troubles by taking in a ball game? His current odds of attending are just 13%. Click here for more potential celebrity attendees.
For many people, watching the commercials is the best part of the “Big Game.” But since prediction markets like Kalshi weren’t able to run ads during this year’s broadcast, I couldn’t care less.
But what I do care about is upping the clickthrough rate of this newsletter, which is why I’m including a market on whether or not Sydney Sweeney (and other celebs) will appear in a “Big Game” ad.
Will clicking on this link, or the picture above, bring up an even more provocative picture of Sydney? Or will it simply bring you to a chart showing her odds of appearing at 80%? There’s only one way to find out, so click now for more Sydney Sweeney!
And good luck to everyone on Sunday (except New England).
Follow Terry Oldreal on X: @realOldTerry
Follow Kalshi on X: @Kalshi
Kalshi is not affiliated with the NFL or Super Bowl LX.
The opinions and perspectives presented in this article belong solely to the author, who is using a pseudonym and cannot trade on Kalshi. This is not financial advice. Trading on Kalshi involves risk and may not be appropriate for all. Members risk losing their cost to enter any transaction, including fees. You should carefully consider whether trading on Kalshi is appropriate for you in light of your investment experience and financial resources. Any trading decisions you make are solely your responsibility and at your own risk. Information is provided for convenience only on an "AS IS" basis. Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future results. Kalshi is subject to U.S. regulatory oversight by the CFTC.