The week ahead: Trump talks turkey (pardons)

Thanksgiving is almost here, and for most people, that means a four-day weekend filled with food and football (click here to trade all our football markets). But just because most of us are on a shortened schedule doesn’t mean there’s a shortage of things to trade on.

Here’s a look at what Kalshi is cooking for the week ahead. Happy trading, and happy Thanksgiving!

_{This is an opinion and not financial advice. The author uses a pseudonym and cannot trade on Kalshi.}

On Tuesday, the White House will kick off its Thanksgiving festivities with the annual turkey pardon.

This year’s lucky birds are a pair of turkeys named Gobble and Waddle, which is no doubt a subtle jab at Bill Clinton’s Oval Office hijinks.

Gobble was convicted of pepper spraying a police officer during the January 6th Capitol riot, and will likely be shot to death by police during a routine traffic stop within six months of his release.

Waddle, on the other hand, was busted with pictures of nude chicks on his laptop (how fowl). Luckily, his father’s substantial $BIRD-coin holdings were enough to sway the President to show mercy.

Speaking of the President, what will he say during the ceremony? Check out our Turkey Pardon mention market to see the latest odds.

I’m not a 57-year-old woman, so I don’t typically watch Dancing With the Stars (although I’m old enough to remember Andy Richter). But thanks to Kalshi’s Dancing With the Stars markets, now anyone can enjoy the show. Not only can you trade on the overall winner, but you can also trade on what the judges will say during the final episode.

Currently, the “star” who is most likely to win is Robert Irwin, the son of a beloved Australian conservationist who made a name for himself wrestling crocodiles before he was murdered by a fish (no, seriously). He has a 69% chance of winning.

Traders feel the only real threat to Irwin is Alix Earle, who, at first glance, I mistook for that British “actress” who recently set some world records. In actuality, she’s a TikTok star (close enough) who has a 30% chance of taking home the trophy (assuming they have a trophy).

There’s also an Efron involved. But it’s not Zac, and he’s only trading at 2%, so I’m not going to bother asking ChatGPT to write something funny about him.

Last but certainly not least, if you’ve been looking for a way to hedge the value of your extensive Labubu holdings, you’re in luck.

Kalshi is partnering with StockX to launch markets on the resale price of the wildly popular yet incredibly creepy collectibles, along with other pop-culture items (sneakers, apparel, trading cards, etc.).

Some of you might scoff at this. But if I’d been better able to hedge my Beanie Babies and Furbies back in the day, I’d probably be sitting on a yacht off the coast of Croatia right now, instead of writing a newsletter about some stupid Chinese dolls. So be smart out there.

Random markets Terry would love to trade if he didn't work here.

Follow Terry Oldreal on X: @realOldTerry
Follow Kalshi on X: @Kalshi

^{The opinions and perspectives presented in this article belong solely to the author, who is using a pseudonym and cannot trade on Kalshi. This is not financial advice. Trading on Kalshi involves risk and may not be appropriate for all. Members risk losing their cost to enter any transaction, including fees. You should carefully consider whether trading on Kalshi is appropriate for you in light of your investment experience and financial resources. Any trading decisions you make are solely your responsibility and at your own risk. Information is provided for convenience only on an "AS IS" basis. Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future results. Kalshi is subject to U.S. regulatory oversight by the CFTC.}